Losing my Aber

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On Monday my dog got out of the gate. That guy!  No matter how sick he was if there was an opportunity to take himself on a wak to visit his friend Laura for the good treats he would!  I usually go through the garage and don’t use the gate but God had other plans on Monday.

I was in my office making copies of medical records when my neighbor knock. He said he saw my dog and he wasn’t walking.  He was just sitting there. I thought ok – no problem.  Go down the street. I was more concerned about Abe seeing a bunny and taking than him not walking. I had another big dog and he had problems walking on walks in the last six months of his life. But we would rest then walk back to the house.

Abe saw me and his smile and tail wag like woohoo mom out!  So I made him lay down and we waited.  He never got better.  So my neighbor put him in a  wheelchair back to my house. We finally get back and it takes Abe a while to get in the yard. He was super happy to be in his home. He would not lay down. He would not drink and I thought this was super weird. I text my vet and she was gone. She told me to take him to the ER or call another mobile vet.

So I took Abe to the VESH and told them my dog is not walking.  They immediately got him out of the car and took him back.  I found out his heart rate was 200 which is crazy fast. They had already done some test and really didn’t know what was wrong with him.  Considering he had a Mass Cell Tumor already she thought he could be so many things. I had prayed on my way up there that I would have the strength to let him go if the news was bad.  So I did… it is so difficult letting him go.  In the last two years I had to put down my dog Baxter who was 15, my cat Jack who was maybe 15 too, see my mom go she was 78 and now my Aber who was only 10.

The ER staff was amazing.  I gave Abe half of a treat bowl – one after another.  I told him to say Hi to Baxter – make him share his bed with you.  Jack tell him to cuddle with you. Tell my mom she never was allergic to dogs – she was being dramatic.  My dad – he will love you so much.

I don’t have any children so my animals were it.  I know it was for the best but now I am dealing with the grief.  I am thankful for my friend who went out with me yesterday and we toasted Abe with our coke and coffee.  I’m a visual person so I have donated all of his stuff either to friends or Dakin humane.  I’m not sure I will get another dog. It’s physically really hard for me.

I am trying to stay busy but it’s really hard to keep going.  I’m clinging onto Jesus.

How did you deal with grief?

 

 

 

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